When the worst happens
by Kdibs227
Summary: He always expected the end to be like this. He just didn't think it would happen. Denial was always a fickle friend.


Author's note: So, I have two more big stories, then the one-shots will be a bit more manageable. There will be a sequel to this, but I'm not sure when I'll be posting it. So, read, review, give me some feedback. :)

* * *

Beast Boy was jolted out of a sound sleep by someone shaking his shoulder. For a moment, he didn't think, and his arm went flying into whoever was near him. He heard a thud and Beast Boy looked down at the ground. Robin was rubbing his jaw.

"Good to know that you can still punch." Beast Boy was awake almost instantly. There were no good reasons that Robin would be in his room this late at night. And judging from the look on his friend's face, the changeling knew it was true.

"Sorry. Kinda hard to forget not to slip into defense mode." Robin shrugged and made himself comfortable on the space next to him. The boy wonder took a deep breath and clasped his hands together in his lap. His elbows rested on his knees.

"It's ok." Robin didn't say anything for a moment. "Beast Boy, when was the last time you talk to the Doom Patrol?" Beast Boy reeled back as he quickly thought of the answer.

"A month, I think. We don't regularly talk, just give updates."

Robin nodded and rubbed his hands together. "So, it wouldn't be uncommon to go for long periods of time without hearing from them?"

"No, it's usually bad news if there's lots of calls, actually." Something wasn't right here. His friends knew how he felt about the Doom Patrol, and usually avoided asking him direct questions about his past team if it wasn't important. But Robin never asked questions without it being serious, that just wasn't who he was. "Robin, what's going on?"

"You know that we're here for you, right? No matter what happens." There was a sinking feeling growing in the pit of his stomach.

"Robin, what happened?" It surprised him how calm and collected his voice came out.

For a long moment, Robin couldn't meet his eyes. Then he reached out, hesitantly, and grabbed Beast Boy's hand. The silence in the room was horrible. Whatever was about to happen next, and it was something big because Robin wouldn't be acting this way if it wasn't, Beast Boy wasn't going to like it.

"I got a call a half hour ago. Does the name chief mean anything to you?"

And just like that everything stopped. He knew what that name meant. Knew the implications of why he would be calling the tower, calling Robin, instead of him. Even if he hadn't been with the Doom Patrol for years, the quiet man handing out missions couldn't be erased from his memories.

"How bad is it?" Beast Boy knew that this call was a long time coming. Of all the active teams out there, he knew that the Doom Patrol was always picked to die first. Either by having one person go or the whole lot of them. Robin was staring at him now, and it was funny how he had avoided looking at the changeling until this point. Now it was him that couldn't hold eye contact.

"I'm so sorry, Gar." And that sealed it. Pulling out of Robin's hold, Beast Boy got up and slid his shoes on. He didn't wait up for his leader to follow, but before he left his room he walked over to his desk. Punching in the code of the safe, he opened it and pulled out his old communicator. It was nowhere near as fancy as the one Cyborg had given him, but it was the only way he was going to be having this conversation. Without a backward glance, Beast Boy left his room feeling oddly calm. Were you supposed to be this calm?

It was freezing outside, but he didn't care. Dimly, he recalled a mission where they had to stay in the snow for days tracking the Brotherhood. Had they been in the snow when they died? Or someplace warm? Cliff always wished for missions with a warm breeze, and hot girls which earned him glares from Rita, but Beast Boy couldn't imagine any of that happening. However they died, it hadn't been pretty. He sat on the ground, ignoring the cold water around him, and easily sent out a call. When was the last time he actually spoke with Chief?

The screen crackled and Chief's face showed up on the other end. He'd aged a lot, and he looked like he'd rather be anywhere else then here. Not that Beast Boy blamed him. They both knew what this was about, but it wouldn't be real until it was put into words. Selfishly, Beast Boy wished he could ignore this for a little while longer. Just go back inside and curl up in bed, not thinking about how, in a few hours, he'd probably be on his way back to Dayton Manor. That conversation wasn't going to go well with his friends.

"It's good to see you, Beast Boy." No use of first names, not on the comm unit, but he could catch the slip up.

"Hey, Chief." Beast Boy found a rock and began rolling it around in his hand. "Look, I'd rather not pretend like this is a normal call." He could faintly hear yelling from the tower. He gave Robin ten minutes to delay the others.

"How much do you know?"

"You called Robin. And Robin isn't the greatest at giving bad news." Chief closed his eyes and when he opened him, Beast Boy saw the tears.

"How fast can you come? There are things that we need to discuss…and I'm sure Steve would like to know that you came." Beast Boy felt as if he was freefalling.

"Steve is alive?" He didn't dare to hope that much. The Doom Patrol never did things halfway: there was only the choice of being alive and being dead. "I thought…" He trailed off. There wasn't enough left in him to stay those words. Chief swallowed before continuing.

"He's alive, but it's critical. There's a chance he might pull through." Beast Boy nodded. He heard the door leading onto the beach slam. Time was up.

* * *

Beast Boy didn't scream or yell. Didn't have a massive breakdown. All he did was walk right past Cyborg, who was yelling, and up to his room. The duffle he used for longer missions was still packed, thankfully, and he shouldered it as he went to Robin. Was there even a protocol for this type of thing? Probably not, but he didn't get long to think about that. Two metal hands grasped his shoulders and spun him around. There wasn't much force when Cyborg pushed him against the wall. His best friend knew the limits of his own strength.

"What the hell are you doing?" Cyborg was angry, but he wasn't sure how much Robin had told them. "Robin said something happened to the DP." Something happened alright, but Beast Boy just tried to get out of the hold.

"Yes, something happened, now let me go." As if sensing that something was off in the tower, Robin appeared from around the corner.

"We're taking the jet, do you have everything you need?" Robin asked. Cyborg whipped his head around.

"What the hell do you mean you're taking the jet? What the hell happened, B?"

Beast Boy opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Robin shot him a concerned look and Cyborg crossed his arms. And suddenly the only thing he wanted to do was leave. Just find some quiet hole and stay there for a while. Thankfully, Robin seemed to get the gist of what was happening and moved in between them.

"He and I are going. When I get back, then we can talk, but we need to leave, Cyborg." Robin's voice didn't waver. Not at all like his was, if he could actually get some words. His body felt completely numb, which was concerning, but he didn't think too hard about that. Taking the opportunity, Beast Boy moved around Cyborg and down the stairs without a backward glance. He put his stuff in the jet and waited for Robin. In his head he tried to think of all the stuff he and Chief had to do. There were calls to make, figure out what to do with the bodies (if there was anything left of them), and then there was Mento. Beast Boy tipped his head back so that it bumped against the jet. Chief hadn't sounded the best when discussing his former leader. The door to the garage banged open and Robin came through, a frown on his face, but it softened when he saw the changeling.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Ready as ever." The talking was kept to a minimum; Robin seemed to know he was too far into his own head, and let him be, only asking questions and giving directions was needed. Beast Boy could tell he wanted to ask though, so about an hour in, Beast Boy broke the silence.

"How'd you convince Cyborg to let us go?" Robin gave a dry, humorless chuckle.

"I told him that the girls were still sleeping, and we couldn't all leave on such short notice. It was a stupid thing to say, I know," Robin rushed when he saw the expression on Beast Boy's face, "But it was the only thing that would get him to let you go. It don't think it's going to work for long. He might already have some titans at the tower ready to cover us." Beast Boy didn't doubt that. His communicator, which he hadn't bothered to look at since they got in the jet, was probably full of messages from his best friend.

Beast Boy tried not to put too much thought into that right now. Whatever mess Steve had created, and it would be a mess the Doom Patrol didn't get their name for nothing, would be a pain to sort through and he didn't need Cyborg screaming over his head. Especially with the news that three of the people he cared about most in the world were dead. Robin didn't have a clue about that part; Chief hadn't mentioned it, only that something severe had happened, and it was urgent enough to ask Robin to send him back.

"Try not to get too involved, ok?" Beast Boy checked the clock on the dashboard. Robin frowned.

"We're going to get involved. You're in the middle of this, Beast Boy, and we aren't going to let something like last time happen again." He always knew that going off with the Doom Patrol in the jungle was going to come back and bite him in the ass. The team never trusted the DP as far as they could throw them, and it hadn't improved much since their last meeting.

"I don't know how bad it is yet, Robin. It could be nothing." It wasn't nothing. From the look Robin was giving him, Beast Boy knew he hadn't pulled it off, but he couldn't care. The next few hours passed slowly. He occasionally looked at him communicator; like he suspected, Cyborg had called him a bunch of time and left dozens of texts. The girls had called as well, but he didn't open the messages. The less the others knew the better. He wondered how badly Steve had been injured, and if he could remember anything about what happened. It had to be a mission gone wrong, the Doom Patrol wouldn't do anything but that.

When the jet finally landed, guided in by his directions, Robin wasted almost no time before advancing on his younger friend. Beast Boy barely had time to sling the shoulder over his head before Robin was pulling him in for a hug. The overwhelming smell of coffee and hair gel assaulted his nose, but he didn't pull away. Robin didn't seem to be in a rush to either.

"I'm giving it until tomorrow morning, at the latest." Robin said. "If anything happens, even something small, you better call one of us. That's a direct order, Beast Boy."

* * *

The manor was exactly like he remembered it. The plain, boring white walls, the random windows that were too small, and the faint smell of bleach seemed to follow him everywhere. It didn't take him long to get to the main room, much smaller than the one at the tower, and Chief was there, listening silently on the phone. He hung up after several more seconds, then rolled his wheelchair over to him. Beast Boy dropped his bag and was pulled down, quickly balancing his feet so he didn't topple into the older man.

"You've grown, Gar." Chief rumbled. Despite the situation, he laughed.

"Well, it's been a while since I saw you. Couldn't stay little forever." The older man let him go and wheeled himself back over to the table. Gar left his bag and leaned against the table as Chief started grabbing documents off the desktop. He handed them off to the changeling and then leaned back in his seat. Chief looked as if he hadn't slept in days, and Gar couldn't blame him. Since he found out, he couldn't help but think about it every moment. Finally, he couldn't hold back his questions that needed answers.

"What are Mento's chances? There's no one around to try and sugarcoat it, so don't bother. We've never done it that way before, don't start now." Gar didn't know where the sudden burst of anger came from, but all he wanted right now was to know what happened. And with no one else around, he and Chief could talk about it. For once, he didn't rush him, or beg for answers. Around Chief, he was patient and reserved. Like how he was trained to be, a long time ago when he first started fighting. Those years felt so far away.

Chief rubbed his eyes. "It's touch and go at the moment. They aren't allowing visitors, something about increasing his chances for infection, but I think it's more along of the lines of keeping us safe." Gar frowned at that. Mento knew how to fight, but not enough to actually inflict a lot of damage before being overwhelmed. That was the reason he always commanded from the back; less chance of getting taken out first.

"Why would anyone else need to be protected?" Chief didn't say a word. "Chief, why isn't anyone allowed in?" Those little tendrils of panic were returning.

"Gar," Chief swallowed and locked eyes with him. "Mento lost his damn mind when we found him. Tried to attack us and everything. We had to sedate him before he had the chance to seriously hurt someone." For a moment, all he could do was sit there. How had this day gone so horribly wrong? This morning he hadn't thought anything could change. Now, here he was, sitting with one of the only people left from his life before the titans, talking about how he was a threat to himself and others. None of this made sense to Beast Boy.

"How did you find him?" His mouth felt dry. "And the others?"

"I received a distress signal. Code black." Gar immediately knew that only that would alert Chief to know that something awful had happened. Back when he first started running with the Doom Patrol, certain codes were taught to him. The one that stuck out the most, while being the most serious, was code black. It meant that everything had gone to hell and that it was very likely that one of your teammates was dead, with the potential of you being dead soon as well. Mento used it.

Mento, mister finish the mission at all costs, had finally used that damn code. It was too late; somewhere, three bodies were waiting for him and Chief…if there was anything left of the bodies. There wouldn't be a proper funeral, just the cremation to ensure the destruction of the DNA, but it would be the closest they could offer. Not many were fond of the Doom Patrol, and Gar and Chief had both avoided funerals as much as possible. Even for those they considered family. "Was Steve the one to set it off? Or was it one of the others?"

"We don't know yet. Most of the communicators were lost, and Steve hasn't been able to tell us what really happened." Chief fiddled with one of the buttons on his wheelchair. "To be honest, I'm not sure we'll ever know what happened. It was just supposed to be a simple scouting mission, no contact. But when they didn't check in at the designated time, I started to worry that something had gone wrong." Beast Boy nodded. That wasn't any different from the titans. If you didn't check in at the given time, the others could assume that something had happened.

"So, what do we do now?" He was dreading the answer, because they both knew what needed to be done, but he still wanted to hear it. The others weren't around so it was easy to put up a few walls. He could breakdown later, when he was alone, but now all he wanted to was something to do. Chief must have been feeling the same way, as he pulled away from the desk and started to head up the little built in ramp. Beast Boy could vaguely remember Cliff installing it so that Chief could come and go as he pleased.

"Well, we could get started on the funeral arrangements. Nothing major, but it needs to be taken care of. Then I guess we can start badgering the hospital. Technically they couldn't let me in, but you are his son on paper, so they might let you go see him." Right, the whole adoption process. It wasn't a known fact, something that had been drilled into his head, because the wrong people could hear and decide to attack the team or use it to their advantage.

Not like it mattered. The people that had done this had nearly succeeded.

* * *

Chief shows him to one of the bedrooms and Gar just chucks his things into one of the corners. He's not about to organize it, but he does take a moment to see what the rest of the team is doing. Robin was right in saying that he probably had only a few hours until they came back. His inbox is flooded. There are voice messages from Starfire and Raven, both of them worried because he's never been one to go without answering his phone for so long. He goes to the texting portion and replies to Robin first.

Making arrangements with Chief. How much trouble am I in? –BB

He quickly scrolls through the rest of the messages, all mostly conveying concern and confusion, but he does tell the girls that he's ok (mostly). When that's done, he heads out to meet with Chief. The man is waiting at the end of the hall, quietly seething to someone on the phone, and Beast Boy waits until he's done. Chief shoves the phone back into his pocket and he doesn't want to ask how well the call went.

"That was the hospital. No visitors today."

"So, we can we do?" The need to keep busy is overwhelming. He knows from experience that if he allows himself to just stop and think about this, then it's all over. He can't afford to lose it right now. Maybe later in the future, but no now. Clearly Chief is feeling the same way, as he moves the wheelchair down the hall and back to the main room. He pulls out a stack of folders then a set of keys.

"We can't help Steve right now, but we can finish up things with the others. The funeral arrangements need to be in order."

"Ok, I guess we should… go do that then." Gar finished lamely. As they were walking to the car, his communicator went off again.

Cyborg might rip you a new one. The girls mostly want to hear from you. –R

Super. He didn't think he would make it out of this without a lecture. Chief operated the car, which had been custom done by Cliff, with ease. They didn't talk or put the radio on, and it wasn't long before the silence started to get to both of them. Chief drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel. Beast Boy coughed.

"Did it happen quickly for them?" The question had been plaguing him since he found out. Chief didn't glance at him, but he could tell that the older man was expecting it.

"The coroner said that it did happen quick for them. There's a chance they didn't feel a thing at all. But we can't know for certain." Chief gripped the wheel tighter. "It might be easier to think that they died instantly."

"Steve won't believe it. He can tell if we lie, and I know I won't lie to him about this." God, this was going to be a mess to hear about and explain.

"Let Steve worry about what he's going to believe. He was there, he made the damn call, even though we all told him that we needed to leave. The enemy was too close to us." Chief stopped at a stop sign and looked over at him. "What's the number one rule of scouting missions?"

He felt like he was back in training. These lessons had been drilled into his head from day one.

"Never make contact with the enemy if you can help it." Chief nodded and continued driving.

"That's right. Steve didn't do that." For a moment, Gar wanted to believe that Steve wouldn't be that careless. He'd never been that stupid before. Then again, his former leader had a tendency to just look at the mission and forget everything else around him; that included the members of his team. But he had to have realized that they were still there, right? Even Mento wasn't that big of an ass to forget his own team. The thought didn't sit well with him. If he knew, without a doubt, that Mento was someone to go back for a member, then this might not have happened.

Chief didn't talk till they were another dreary building. Neither one of them made a move to get out of the car.

"I already identified the bodies. You can see them, if you want. I'm going to be with the funeral director to talk about the cremation process."

"Does Steve know about this? Have you said anything to him?" He couldn't take his eyes off of the building. Chief closed his eyes.

"No, we haven't had the chance. But this can't wait forever, Gar. If he survives this, then he can come to terms with it. I can't sit around waiting for his opinion." There was that spark of anger again.

He helped Chief get his wheelchair out of the trunk and then pushed the man up the hill because the batteries were low on the machine and his arms were tired. Gar didn't mind, and when he was pointed in the direction were the bodies were, Chief rubbed his shoulder and left to find the director. The motion made him cringe a bit. The last time Chief had done that was shortly before he had left the Doom Patrol. God, how long ago was that? Five years, maybe?

Stalling for time, he checked his communicator again. He randomly picked one of his friends to reply to; wasn't it ironic that it had to be Raven. Her messages went from slightly worried to concern for him. She mainly wanted to hear from him. He typed out a response to one of her most recent texts.

I'm okay. There isn't a lot of time to think about this. –BB

Shoving it back into his pocket he went in the director of the morgue. He felt uncomfortable and out of place. He wondered what Mento would think of all of this.

* * *

The coroner was a nice, older man. He claimed he had been working with superhero teams for the past two decades, and Beast Boy was polite enough to agree with him. The man, whose name he forgot the second he introduced himself, led him to one of the back rooms.

"You can take as much time as you need." He had a kind face, maybe he was a grandfather or something, but he didn't bother hanging around. That was fine in his opinion. No one wanted an audience for something like this. Beast Boy wasn't sure what he expected.

They were lined up. That's what got him. Three of the people he cared most about in the world were lined up on cold slabs of metal. Rita's face was devoid of color, and Cliff's body was in pieces. One whole leg and half of his chest were gone. Larry seemed intact, but his body seemed to be caving into itself. He couldn't make himself go past the door. He could see enough from here. He wasn't even aware that he had been clenching his fists; a pinch of pain had him looking down to see a few drops of blood oozing out of his palm.

He couldn't stay in this room anymore. The people he had grown to know, who practically raised him, were gone. The smell was making his head hurt and his eyes were burning. Lifting his eyes for one last look, he opened the door and left. The coroner gave him a sad look as he left, but didn't try to talk to him. That was good; Beast Boy was sure he was close to either crying or screaming. Before he went off to find Chief, he ducked down an empty hallway. It looked like it wasn't used.

Sliding down the wall, Beast Boy tried to calm himself down. He tried to picture what his friends were doing. Robin had to be training, Cyborg had mentioned something about upgrading the car. Raven was probably helping him with Starfire making sure no one overexerted themselves. It didn't work, and he felt a few tears slip out. He wiped them away quickly and focused on a spot on the ceiling until the urge to cry went away. This was how Chief found him, curled up, glaring silently at something only he could see. He didn't ask any questions.

"Who did it?" There was a hand in his hair. Funny, how Chief used to be the one who didn't offer physical comfort at all, and now he was the only one who could.

"We caught a facial recognition of one of the last remaining member of the Brotherhood. He must had been underground this whole time."

"Do we have to go after him, or did he die during the mission?"

"Dead. His body has already been taken care of." The knowledge that the person who killed his family didn't comfort him. Maybe if he had been the one to…

"They wouldn't have wanted that." Chief interjected.

"Who would have wanted what?" His throat was burning but he forced the words out. Not much he could do besides that. One of the standard rules of the Doom Patrol was to keep your emotions to yourself. There wasn't a place for them on the field.

"Any of them. They wouldn't have wanted you to be responsible for taking another person's life."

"They're dead, I doubt they would have minded much." It was the first time he had said it. The finality of the situation hit him full force and he closed his eyes. Chief's hand found his way to his shoulder. Neither of them talked, and once or twice someone walked by the hall, but they didn't approach them.

"Come on, we've been here long enough. I think we both need a hot shower and some food." Gar took the offered hand and stood up. Chief wheeled himself to the door and Gar helped him back into the car. This time he flicked on the radio. Gar was grateful for that part; if he had to endure another silent care ride he might lose his mind. He was already wondering if he had. Didn't people usually lose it when someone they loved died?

"Have you gotten in contact with your other team?" Gar glanced at Chief, but he didn't sense any bitterness in the question. That had been one of the things that the Titans and Doom Patrol could get over. The DP resented the Titans for taking him in, and the Titans disliked the DP for their chaotic nature.

"Once or twice. I haven't been paying attention to it really. Robin took me off the active duty roster the second he found out." He also told him to take all the time he needed.

Not that he would actually follow Robin's advice. The very thought of being away from Jump City and his team for an extended amount of time didn't sit well with him. The other problem was that he couldn't see himself staying here and being okay with it. Steve was an ass when he got injured, and Gar still had a bit of doubt that this was entirely on the Brotherhood. If there was a chance for glory, Steve always took it, and damn the consequences. Or anyone who was involved or left behind in the process.

"Well, when we get back, take a second to check in with them. I did give Robin the extension to the Manor, if he wanted to call there, but I have a feeling that he's going to go through you." They reached the house shortly after that. Chief waved off his offers to help him and sent him to go try and relax for a bit. Gar made his way over to the empty room his stuff was in. His communicator was flooded with messages from his friends, all of varying concern, so he braced himself for a long conversation.

* * *

Cyborg was in a foul mood. First, his best friend was across the country. Second, his best friend was across the country because some awful stuff had happened. Third, his best friend was across the country because some awful stuff happened and he wasn't told about it until Beast Boy had already left. So, ya, when Robin came back Cyborg lost it. Starfire and Raven backed him up; the girls had no clue that their friend was gone until he told them. And the worst thing about all of this? Beast Boy had barely answered his commutator all day.

He knew that he was being unreasonable. After all, it's not like Beast Boy was avoiding them. Wasn't like his friend didn't care that his friends were worried about him. Beast Boy was probably busy, but all Cyborg wanted was to be there right now. He could remember how lost he felt after he lost his mom, and very quickly after his father, and that had nearly killed him. Beast Boy lost people too, so it only made sense that his friends, practically family, rallied around him. In order for that to happen, however, was for them to go there.

Robin told them that they were going to wait a day before going. Not because he didn't care, but because Beast Boy had already told him that he didn't want them there for certain parts of this process. Cyborg could only wonder what those parts entailed. They had gotten several very short messages from him, but other than that, nothing. At a loss, and too annoyed to sit around and wait anymore, Cyborg snatched up his communicator and dialed up Beast Boy's number. He was fully expecting the call to go to voicemail, but then he saw the connecting symbol.

Beast Boy looked exhausted already. Not for the first time, Cyborg wished he was able to teleport like Raven.

"Christ, B, what the hell happened?" A dry laugh escaped his friend's mouth.

"What do you think, Cy?"

"Ok, we can get into the other crap in a bit, but how are you? What do you need?" Cyborg had always been so protective of him. Not that Beast Boy needed the protection; he could kick Cyborg's ass if he really felt like it. There was something in Beast Boy's voice that made Cyborg want to pull him close and never let go.

Cyborg knew that all of them wanted Beast Boy where they could see him. It wasn't that they didn't trust him, but when things happened, Beast Boy sort of forgot to take care of himself. The whole self-preservation thing went out the window. Terra was a big example of that, but this had to be worse. After all, Terra had only known B for a few months; the people of the Doom Patrol had been Beast Boy's family for years.

"Nothing that you could do, Cy. We've been trying to get in to see Mento all day." Cyborg could hear the frustration.

"So, how bad is it?" Beast Boy looked away for a minute, and Cyborg let him go. There was no use rushing his friend when he got like this. Years of experience had taught him that.

"Mento's in critical condition. Everyone else is dead." Something inside Cyborg snapped and he felt himself jump off the couch. That's it, no more waiting. His buddy needed him and Cyborg couldn't stand being here any longer.

"Who's there helping with all of this?"

"Chief's here." He speed through the halls, angrily punching his code into his door, and snatching up the keys to the jet.

"We'll be there in a few hours." Cyborg took a breath, knowing that any yelling on his part wouldn't help the situation. "Look, B, if anything comes up, even if it's something stupid, I want you to call, ok?" Cyborg didn't get off the phone until he got an answer, and when he did, he ran out of his room shouting for his friends. Turns out it he didn't have to wait long for them to agree. Robin had already called in some people to watch the city, and Raven was already by the jet.

Cyborg knew well enough not to try and engage Raven. She was glaring a hole into the floor and seemed to be extremely impatient. Not that Cyborg blamed her. They were all fiercely protective of each other and this was no different. He didn't tell her how Beast Boy sounded on the phone. Didn't mention how pale he looked, or the fact that his friend looked a few seconds away from dissolving into tears. It wouldn't happen easily. Beast Boy had been taught to bottle up those feelings, so when they came, it hit him all at once. Cyborg didn't like it.

Starfire came down with Robin. The girl had been crying, though it didn't look recent, and none of them talked much as they got into the jet. Every so often, one of them would fire off a message on their communicators. Cyborg never got an answer, and judging from the others, neither did they. Cyborg knew one of them should have stayed. Someone had gone after the DP. What if they came back to finish the job and took B with them? It wasn't a stupid idea either. Cyborg knew villains hated to leave loose ends hanging around.

"Did he say anything about this? About how he's handling this?" Raven's voice made everyone jump. The girl had a face of stone at the moment, but Cyborg knew she was worried. If she could get any feedback on Beast Boy's emotions right now, then she was probably considering just teleporting there. The flight was taking forever and none of them had the patience for it. "Cyborg, what did he say?"

"Not a lot. Seems like he's been making sure things are in order mostly. And he's been arguing with the hospital. Dome head's still in critical condition right now."

* * *

Hospitals were never Beast Boy's thing. He didn't do doctors, couldn't stand hospitals, and now he had to deal with both of them. They had gotten the call late in the evening, from one of the doctors in charge with Mento's care, and that it was ok for them to come and visit. They would have to visit one at a time, since he was still in the ICU, but it was enough at the moment. Chief said he would tell Steve about the losses. Beast Boy was fine with that. He didn't want to give those death warrants.

"How're his injures?" Those were the first words out of Chief's mouth when the doctor finally came to them. He looked older, but he sounded confident. If he was surprised by the pair in front of him he didn't show it. Then again, this was a small branch of S.T.A.R labs, so he was probably used to it.

"Well, he isn't paralyzed, which is what we fear. His legs and spine will heal, and if he does all he can with the physical therapy, then he can return to full mobility in time. Don't be fool though, he's got a long way to go."

God, he had a chance of never walking again? Just how bad was this mission? Chief asked a few more questions than wheeled himself over to the door. Steve's name wasn't there, to protect his identity, but Chief told him to get comfortable before he went in. Beast Boy spotted a few chairs down the hall and waited there. No one seemed to pay him any attention and that was fine. Sometimes he was able to catch parts of the conversation, but nothing concrete. It seemed like Chief was doing most of the talking in there.

Finally, Chief came out. The look on his face didn't reassure him at all, but then again, telling Mento any type of bad news. The older man rolled up next to him and rubbed his face. Both of them looked exhausted.

"He wants to see you." Chief didn't look happy about it, but Beast Boy wasn't about to ask him why. Nodding, he pushed himself to his feet and went into the room. Honestly, it wasn't as bad as he imagined. There were multiple machines and IV poles, but at least he was awake. Mento bother to raise his head.

"It's nice to see that you're not dead." The words come out before he has a chance to stop them. Usually his filter is better than this, and judging from the look on Steve's face, it shocks him too. That little coil of anger is coming back. "Did Chief tell you everything?"

"He told me everything that matters. That the guy who did it is dead… and so are the others." It got on his nerves that the reason for the mission failing was placed before the others.

"Was it worth it?" Mento frowns.

"Was what worth it?"

"Forgetting the main rule of scouting. Or allowing yourself to continue pursuing the mission and leaving the rest of your team behind. What was the line you always fed me? Oh, ya, _the mission comes first_." Mento couldn't think of anything to say to refute it. Not like he could; there were three bodies down in the morgue that proved it.

"I didn't think it would end like this."

"But you still left them behind. Even knowing that there was a big chance that they would die. You still went ahead." Gar felt his eyes burn. "I saw their bodies. What was left of them, anyway."

"I had to finish this mission, Gar. You know that." Mento was bunching up the blankets, but he still didn't look directly at him. When Steve knew that he was in the wrong, he couldn't look anyone in the eyes. The urge to go over there and shake him was strong enough, but Gar didn't. He wanted to know what happened. Even if he was certain that he wouldn't like it. "Did… did you and Chief figure out the funeral plans?" Gar nodded. In reality, all he had done was sign papers, but it helped supposedly.

They would get the ashes in a couple of days. There wasn't going to be an actual funeral, just a little thing when they put them in the ground. The only bad thing was that Mento wouldn't be out of the hospital before then. He'd been to funeral before. But never for someone that he actually had known. "It'll be a small ceremony. Nothing big." The Doom Patrol wasn't known for having grand affairs. At least the wills and stuff had been easy to find and read through. Chief had handled that part; Gar felt sick when he read it.

"I didn't think it would end like this." Mento was looking at the wall, and his gaze seemed far away. "I thought I'd have enough time to get back them. But, when I did… the fire was already too much. I couldn't go back." Parts of Cliff had been blackened by the blaze. Rita's hair was destroyed by the flames. All because Steve had to go forward with a mission that was destined to fail. Would have happened to him if he had stayed? Probably. And now he could start to see the fear behind the others letting him come.

"Excuse me, sir?" Both of them jumped when a nurse poked her head into the room. "Visiting hours are over. You'll have to come back tomorrow." Gar made a move to go closer, but he stopped himself.

"I'm glad you won't be paralyzed for the rest of your life. Hopefully you'll be discharged soon." And then he hightailed it out of the room before he could hear Mento's reply. Chief was at the end of the hall and he looked as tired as he felt. "I guess we should go back." Neither of them could think of anything to say.

* * *

When they landed, it took all of Raven's self-control to not run ahead and hunt down Beast Boy. From the looks of the building, no one appeared to be home. As they all got out, they looked awkwardly at one another.

"So, now what?" Cyborg asked. Robin rolled his eyes and pressed the call button. A few minutes later someone answered.

"Hey, where are you?" Robin nodded and the others waited to figure out where he was. "Alright, well, not to stress you out, but-ya, we're here. I know, I did tell you a day minimum. Ok, bye, then."

"So, what do we do?" Cyborg asked as he leaned against the side of the jet. At least the weather wasn't bad.

"He's coming back with Chief. Said they'll be back within the hour." Robin paused for a moment. "Turns out they got to talk to Mento." Raven felt herself getting angry. Who knew how that had gone?

"We should have come sooner." Starfire was worried for their friend. It had all happened so quickly that they hadn't even known something was wrong before it was too late to do anything about it. Well, they were here now, at least.

All of them waited in silence, checking their communicators every few minutes, and about soon enough a car pulled up. Beast Boy looked exhausted. Chief did too, but they didn't care as much about him. Even if he did seem nice enough. Starfire didn't wait from him to make the full walk over, flying to him and tackling the changeling in a hug. Going at a normal pace, the other three came over. Robin and Chief exchanged the regular greetings.

"I'll leave you to it. I don't think they'll be calling us tonight." Chief nodded to the group and then went inside. Finally alone for the moment, Raven took the liberty of grabbing him. Clearly, the last twenty-four hours hadn't been as bad for them as it had been for him.

"Serious question, and you can't use the phrase 'I'm fine'. How are you?" Beast Boy was tense, but that could be because all of them were trying to squish him into their arms.

"Haven't lost it yet, Rae. Though you picked a hell of a time to come." Raven felt a wave of urgency wash over her.

"Like we would leave you alone now. You know us better than that."

Eventually, they head inside. Beast Boy showed them some rooms they could use, but they knew that no one would be sleeping. Certainly not Beast Boy, who got pulled back into the office room by Chief. This whole situation sucked and they didn't want to sit around and wait for something to happen.

Chief was understanding. He didn't mind them sitting in while he made phone calls, and while Beast Boy made phone calls, and while both of them tried to sort out the paperwork. Already, the man had surpassed Mento. Regretfully, they couldn't recall the other three members.

They were able to pull Beast Boy away after a few more tries. Well, it really came down to Robin taking the phone from him and Cyborg literally hauling him off to their rooms. It didn't take long to wear him down; Beast Boy was dead on his feet, so getting him to take a few hours to sleep wasn't too hard. Keeping him there, on the other hand, was a different battle. They knew that when something bad happened, their friend wanted to keep busy. Anything that could keep him from thinking about the horrible event that had occurred.

"Look, I'm fine. I don't need to sleep right now." Cyborg expected this part. What he didn't expect was for Starfire to tackle him to the bed and refuse to let him up. Her arms, which were coiled around him, didn't falter. Beast Boy tried struggling but Starfire glared at him when she felt him getting ready to shift.

"If you even think about changing right now, I will release every single piece of blackmail I have." Beast Boy narrowed his eyes.

"You're bluffing."

"I'll tell Cyborg about the pajama night. So help me, Garfield, I will tell him everything."

"…seriously?" Starfire released one arm so she could point a finger at his nose.

"I will tell him everything. Which means you'll have a permanent blush for the rest of the year. Now, are you going to get some sleep, or do I need to start telling Cyborg a story I'm sure he'd love to hear?" Raven had to admit; Starfire knew how to get anyone to do what she wanted. Granted, she and Cyborg wouldn't have used such measures, but at this point, they had to use any methods to get Beast Boy to stand still long enough to rest.

Starfire kicked them out after that. It wasn't like they weren't wanted there, but there was no way Beast Boy would be getting any rest with them standing over him. At a lost, Raven started helping Cyborg organize their stuff in the other room. Robin came back a little bit after that, and seemed relieved when they said they managed to convince Beast Boy to recharge.

"I told Chief we would be staying as long as Beast Boy is. No offense to him, the last time we left him here alone we almost lost him. We aren't repeating that."

They decided to stay in this room for the night. Starfire messaged them to let them know that Beast Boy was finally sleeping, and anyone who tried to wake him up before his body was ready would be kicked. None of them dared to peek their head in to see.

"The urns are coming in tomorrow." Robin said suddenly. Raven barely held off a cringe. She had forgotten, blissfully, about that part. The actual funeral part would be ackward for them, and all sorts of hell for Beast Boy. All she wanted was for the next few days to pass.

* * *

Steve was doing all he could to keep busy. Which wasn't a hell of a lot. His legs, slowly healing and thankfully wouldn't be useless to him, rendered him immobile in bed for the majority of his time. Chief popped in once or twice, but the contempt on his face was enough to keep those visits short and sweet. It was mostly to keep him in the loop. Gar hadn't come back after that first meeting, although Chief seemed to find no fault at answering those questions concerning his adoptive son. For the most part, he was left alone.

Until today. It was early in the morning when the door opened. It wasn't the nurse that had been assigned to him, or the doctor, or even Chief. In fact, the last person he expected to see standing there was Beast Boy. Usually, Mento was good a reading people. However, years apart had left him rusty and he found that his son wasn't as easy to read as he remembered. There was a hard edge to him, and Mento could only attribute that to what had happened. Superheroes had so little in terms of family, and Steve cost Gar his.

"I didn't expect you to be back here." He was aware at how flat his voice sounded. Given the fact that he didn't talk much to people, it didn't surprise him. Clearly, it didn't affect Gar either, and he was shocked when the changeling came to sit in the empty chair next to the bed. His son looked older, which was a given, since it had been close to a year since he had last seen him face to face, and Steve wondered why he had bothered to come. Their last meeting had ended with them both screaming at each other.

"I just wanted to let you know that the ashes got delivered safely. Chief was going to call, but he needed the sleep." Mento nodded and focused on the IV in his hand.

"I'm sorry that you had to come back for this. Am I correct in assuming the rest of your team is here with you?" The titans hadn't made an appearance yet, but he suspected that was out of respect for their friend, not for the old Doom Patrol leader. Gar nodded his head.

"Ya, they're back at the manor. They don't know I came out to see you."

Mento didn't like the sound of that. Then again, he wasn't in any position to judge who other people viewed their relationship. If they still had one. He and Gar had never been close, or civil at some points, and this tragedy only seemed to widen the gap between them.

"Did you tell them or did they barge their way in, like they did last time?" Judging from the look on Gar's face, it wasn't the right question to ask.

"I didn't get to tell them, actually. Chief called Robin directly; he didn't want a repeat of the last time we had to meet." Leave it to Chief to try and keep the peace. It wasn't as if he could make the call himself. In fact, Steve hadn't been informed about what had become of his friends and wife until he was out of surgery. That was probably the first time, in a very long time, that he had cried.

"I'm sorry you had to find out that way."

"Why? Would you have been up to making that kind of call?" Beast Boy always had easy to read eyes. Now, all Mento could see was an unwavering glare.

"You know that I wouldn't have kept that from you." The feeling of guilt wasn't a good one. Usually, he was good at pushing it away, but here, now, there was nowhere for it to go. The fact that Gar knew this, and was using it to his advantage, wasn't lost on him. All the tricks that Mento had taught him were coming back to bite him in that ass.

"Like how you left deliberately left the team alone to finish a mission. One you didn't even have clearance for?" Mento had to look away in shame. He had begged Chief not to tell Gar that.

At this point, any hope at salvaging their relationship was gone. Gar would never forget that Steve willingly left his team behind, and Steve would never forgive himself for that. Chief might be keeping the peace, but Steve knew it wouldn't last. The only thing he could do at this point would be to let Gar know what he wanted and then part ways. The idea of letting his son go, for a third time, was awful. He had barely survived it the first time; the second was easier, but the presence of a new team had him hesitant to repair any bridges.

"I had to finish this mission. The Brotherhood was always our gig, you know that. It didn't seem right to let another team complete it."

"But it was ok for you to sacrifice your own people for it? We've given away missions before, Mento, and doing that would have saved you a lot of trouble."

"No one knows how to handle it."

"We managed. You weren't there demanding to take over either, if I recall."

"That was my mistake, Gar."

"Just like this was. Only, you can't fix this one, sir."

Mento's head snapped around and he couldn't even be bothered to hide the tears that were building. The utter defeat in his son's tone was awful.

"I just wanted to let you know that we've taken care of the funeral arrangements. The memorial will be up for you to see when you're discharged."

"And what about you?" Mento asked blandly. Gar's gaze didn't waver.

"I have to go back to Jump. We don't like to leave the city for long periods of time." He stood up and headed for the door. "I would appreciate it if you didn't try to contact me again."

* * *

The day of the service it rained for the whole time. They were outside, not that Beast Boy cared, and Chief was saying how glad he was for having the paved pathways installed prior to this. He had asked the others not to come, simply because it wasn't going to be made into a big deal, and he and Chief knew that the others wouldn't have wanted it that way either. Still, even after the urns were in the ground, and they headed back inside, Gar couldn't stop feeling awful. From this, from talking to Mento, from anything.

Mento had tried once or twice to get in touch with him, but he couldn't answer the phone. It was a never ending cycle; he would answer, do something for the man, and lose something in return. This blow had been the last one. He would go back to Jump and stay there. It wasn't like there was a Doom Patrol left. Beast Boy was just thankful that all the other teams had kept their mouths shut and didn't say that they were right about Mento killing everyone. Deciding to put off seeing anyone, he went off on his own.

It didn't last for long. His friends knew most of his habits, and hiding away somewhere when he felt overwhelmed was one of them. At least it was Raven that found him and she didn't force him to talk if he wasn't ready. She sat next to him in the hall and passed him a cup of something. She had an identical one in her hand.

"Do you want to talk about this?"

"No. There isn't anything to say." Mento would never change his opinion. Chief couldn't make him see it, and neither could he. That was that.

"Did the service go alright? I know you said it was going to be small." Gar nodded. The urns were in the ground, the little plaque was up, and it would standing there when Steve returned to the manor. At least he wouldn't have to stick around and see that reaction.

"It went fine." Raven frowned; usually Beast Boy wasn't this short for words. But, given the last few days, she could understand why. It also didn't escape her knowledge that he had gone to see Mento. Whatever they had talked about was still a mystery between the two men.

"You know how we feel about that word, Beast Boy." The changeling leaned against the wall and shut his eyes. He looked so worn down.

"I went and saw Mento. Told him that I didn't want to see him again. It should have hurt more, but it didn't. I didn't feel anything." Maybe he just didn't have any feeling left to give. The past few years had definitely put him through his own share of emotional turmoil.

"That's your decision. You know that we'll stand by you, whatever you decide." Raven hesitantly reached over and grabbed his hand with hers.

They were seated in the jet, flying home, the next morning. The next few weeks passed by slowly, with all of them keeping an eye on their friend, but Beast Boy had had years to perfect that mask. On the surface, he seemed normal. None of their other titan friends could spot a difference. They knew better. In private, Gar was quiet and often found time to go off on his own. But, as soon as these occurrences started, they stopped. Slowly, their friend came back to them, with small smiles and then little puns. He was still healing privately.

Perhaps one of the biggest problems that still had to be dealt with was Mento. The man was refusing to let things go as they were, and was trying to get in touch with Beast Boy. He would call the tower, would call Robin, and would call the changeling. Beast Boy didn't answer, and Robin usually did, if only to tell Mento that if Beast Boy wanted to hold a conversation with him, then he would answer the phone. Eventually, the frequency of the calls went from every day to once or twice a week. But they still kept coming.

In the end, it doesn't end with a big blowout. In fact, they don't know exactly how it ends, because Beast Boy takes the call in another room, and he's a much better hacker then all of them and quickly has the camera's and audio disabled in the room so they can't here the conversation. When he comes back out again, after a very tense and long hour, he doesn't say much. But the look on his face is enough to go by. He tosses Cyborg his old DP communicator and tells him, oddly polite, to get rid of it.

They don't ask about what happened, even if the curiosity is eating them alive. Gradually, life takes over, and Beast Boy moves along with it. They get smiles and laughs, and for a moment they can pretend like those few horrible days didn't happen. The details are still vague, as are most things concerning the Doom Patrol, but Raven holds her tongue, as do the others. She knows that Cyborg doesn't destroy the communicator, like he was asked to, and she knows the reason for it. Beast Boy could be a forgiving person. But, it was just going to take time.

Eventually, thoughts of the Doom Patrol fade away. Jump City is their home, and it's their job to protect it. If any of them notice that Beast Boy jumps at every chance to help, they don't mention it. The calls still come, and the messages are never deleted; Cyborg has them saved to a locked file, and Robin is waiting for the day when Beast Boy is ready to hear them. The wound doesn't heal quickly, or cleanly, but it does heal. But, right now, no one can focus on that.

Beast Boy kept moving forward, and they follow.


End file.
